I don’t want my kids anymore

I am 6 months pregnant with our third, a surprise baby. We also have a 3 year old and 1 year old that were both planned. I hate my life, literally everything about it. I hate my boyfriend, I hate my kids majority of the time and don’t want this pregnancy. I feel like a terrible mom and person for feeling this way but simply cannot help it. I feel like I just want to run away from all of them and never come back. Most days I can’t help but tell myself they’d be better off without me, and almost fantasize about taking my own life because I feel like I’m drowning. I am just done with everything at this point and needed to vent I guess