Child falling asleep in our bed

My SO has a daughter from his previous relationship. She is 5. We live at his parents house right now and daughter has a bed out in the living room and sleeps out there with my MIL. She has her own little spot in the corner behind the couch so she has some privacy. We are planning to move her into my SIL room with her so she can have a room to sleep in plus SIL is never there anyway. Daughter never had a problem going to sleep in her bed and was always fine because she had grandma(MIL) out there with her. For the past 6 months she has been choosing to fall asleep in our bed and we put her in her bed after she is asleep. She said its because she doesn't like being alone when she sleeps. The thing is she's not alone out in the living room because my MIL is out there. About 6 months ago when this started happening her mom filed for full custody and had told daughter she needs to complain about having a new bed and that she really didnt have to come over if she didnt want to. Her mother also took away our overnight visits during the week so we only get her over night every other weekend(no custody has been set up yet through court and we are waiting for a date still). We plan on getting her a new bed when we move her into a bedroom but for now we dont have the money and we cannot put a bigger bed in the living room. She still fits in her toddler bed and has a good foot left before she grows out of it because she is such a tiny girl but her mother is telling her only babies sleep in those beds. I really feel this is the reason she is choosing to sleep in our bed instead of hers. Also in the past 6 months daughter has become more attached to her dad and i than she used to be. Her behavior has completely changed ever since her mom filed for custody. Im wondering if we should let daughter do this or if we should try to get her to fall asleep in her bed. Also could it be daughter is doing this because of all the changes her mom has made in the past 6 months and the things she is having to deal with at her moms that she would feel more comfortable being with us and falling asleep with us around?
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COMMENT (3)

Kr

Posted at
She's five years old and very aware of what's goinf on between her parents at this age it can be very hard on a child and they are easily persuaded she probably wants to sleep with tou because she's afraid she's missing out in daddy time now that she's not able to stay overnight during the week

Je

Posted at
I would say it is her way of feeling safe. She knows there is something going on children are very smart. Give her all the hugs and cuddles you guys can and make sure she knows you love her. If you have to put her in her bed and sit by it till she falls asleep. My son is 4 and the only time he gets to sleep in our bed is when he gets up at 3 or 4 am and is having a bad dream. He also comes in in the mornings on the weekends once he gets up and snuggles for about 15 minutes. I suggest making her feel safe and loved and it will all work out for the best.

Ce

Posted at
I think she's probably stressed about her mom and the issues her mom is casting on her. Sounds like the mom is just trying to make an issue where there isn't one and the daughter is caught in the middle :/ I sympathize with you and the daughter