Once a cheater…?

Question

If your spouse or ex-spouse cheated on you and you forgave them, they changed, said they wouldn’t again. Did they cheat again? What were the signs? How did you trust them if they didn’t cheat again? We’ve all heard “once a cheater, always a cheater” and I heard on TiKTok (some therapist on a podcast, Australian guy lol) that once they cheat there is a 90% chance they will cheat again so I was wondering from people who’ve actually been through it.

Answer

every cheater i’ve seen even my fil who went to sex rehab and all sorts of other programs cheated repeatedly for thirty years. church, programs, etc. if they do it once and you forgive them they’ll do it again

Answer

Once a cheater always a cheater

Answer

Yeah so for me I'd NEVER forgive cheating and I'd never stay because I know I deserve better.
Also most cheaters repeatedly cheat so yes I believe once a cheater always a cheater. They never change, they don't really love you and you deserve better than being cheated on and forgiving the cheater. They know if they are forgiven and get away with it once they can just do it again. That's how little a cheater values the person they cheat on.

Answer

My experience, they just keep doing it.

Answer

I actually do know of someone who stayed and their partner never cheated again. They went to therapy and have had a very happy and fulfilling marriage ever since. It’s up to you if you want to chance it🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I had a male friend who cheated on his wife for four years with a woman, when things didn’t work out the woman wrote her a letter and explained everything. The wife said to him if you ever cheat on me again I’m divorcing you, Lawyer‘s later he’s cheating again. The bottom line is they know you don’t want to be alone, they use that to their advantage to have your cake and eat it too and get away with murder. But unfortunately infidelity is like a piece of paper that’s been crumbled in the palm of your hand. Once the deception is there the lines will always be there in the back of your mind, are they really working late, are they saving women’s names as men’s name in their phone, are they gonna go into the gym etc. what is the seed of doubt has been planted, there’s no coming back from it, you will want to check your phone, their location, etc. They know that you don’t want to be alone that’s the bottom line. They just get sneaky at hiding things. And it drives you insane. You don’t feel comfortable in your own home, in your own skin, because your insecurities and overthinking get the better of you and that’s completely understandable. I know plenty of men who have cheated, I deal with women night and day with child support custody and divorce. It’s a choice, they know what they are risking, but it’s also understandable why it happens, she laughs at his jokes, she makes him feel like a king, she does things that you won’t do, things are new in exciting, excitement of almost getting caught, what can I get away with how far can I push the envelope, Kind of understandable. Having the best of both worlds the stable home life and I get to have fun. I know tons of men who cheat like I said. I have an entire family growing Italian restaurants multiple the grandfather, the sons, the grandchildren, they all cheat on their wives, the wife’s no, but their husbands a better person to them, he’s in a better mood, he treats them better, he gets his needs are met and he still has a home life. However they justify the reason it’s up to them. But like I said it’s a choice, you don’t just slip and fall into a vagina. It’s a choice. They are choosing to step out on the relationship. I’ve been the woman who stayed, never again￼.

Once a cheater…?

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