Fourth loss in 10 months..sorry needing to rant

Hey everyone, I am 32 years old and have been TTC since October of last year. Since then I have had two early losses at 5 weeks back to back in December and January. Had an even earlier loss in May of just over 4 weeks and now it’s looking like I will be having my fourth one. I would be 5 weeks on Wednesday. I went for blood work last week and was surprised when it came back at 23 as my tests were getting darker. This morning (19dpo) I woke up and I had a decrease in breast tenderness so I decided to take a test before heading for repeat bloodwork. I was shocked to see the line was almost half of what it had been two days ago. I have yet to start actively losing it and the waiting is the worst. I am so angry and heart broken. To top this day off, today is my due date with my first loss. I never let myself get too excited when I get that BFP because every time a week or two later it’s gone. It’s so unfair. Only thing giving me any hope right now is that we have a meeting with a fertility specialist at the end of the month. Sorry for the long rant, but I need to let it out and My therapist is on holiday 😭😭😭