Hi ladies

What am I doing wrong,

I got up this morning in such a positive frame of mind, had my goals set out,get cleaned up, get any important phone calls done, get my budgets logged into my book for finances, write in my start with gratitude book, started doing through my wardrobe throwing stuff away that I don't want as I'm having a complete make over, got my workout gear out ready, set up my postpartum workout planner on YouTube. Did my hair and make up made myself look nice, noticed how much my baby weights gone and the fact I'm losing my old body fat. I had a baby 3 weeks ago, then smack, hubby comes back and I get hit with everything. (Not physically) we had a falling out the other day I leave him alone I'm wrong, I try sort it I'm wrong, I try telling him I do want to correct things in life and work on our relationship, I get I mess up and make mistakes, I get defensive and protective, can snap or have an attitude. I suffer from depression and battle with my head alot, I am under a IPT specialist because I wanted to help myself and get myself to a better place of course takes time not over night job, my hubby got funny because he didn't get any itmacy or foreplay he was hinting about porn or conversation, I also noticed he wasn't feeling to great with his neck and head so thought I'll look after him and had the idea of starting something. I was wrong for that. I got I don't change,I offer nothing, all I do is clean etc, don't make a family home,don't have conversations don't make a relationship. Things have been a struggle for many years. I admit I haven't given him the sex life we both had it was great, I admit I don't always look after him, I do argue, I'm not inocent, I want our sex life back and the happiness we had. Yesterday I told him that I have done this this and this phone calls etc for important things to take It off his shoulders. I aimed to look after him and our little one was being a bit fussy, he had work at 4:30am so I decided to take her upstirs, did that and gave baby more milk settled,came back down stairs for a nappy to change little one,went back up and I ended up falling asleep didnt sleep the night before till 6am due to all this, I leave him be and don't approach him when he's in this frame of mind as there's no reasoning or anything, so I stay out the way let it settled and I don't go back to it he approaches me about it, again he's still in this mindset, I tell him all the positives and aims and goals I have, ime clearing wardrobe out for a new look, positive mindset etc. He says about how bad he was that he nearly went to hospital and how I left him and didn't ask if he was ok, we had fallen out and it was hard to talk to him or say anything, I got the cream out as I was going to look after him sadly fell asleep, because I said about sorting little one out and failed to mention falling asleep, I'm not changing nor will I change, it's in my DNA that when it comes to him I do nothing for the relationship, I said to him I'm not going to allow negativity to knock me down when I'm trying to get back up, told him I don't care about what my DNA and hardwire is because I will get out the other side and not let it defeat me. I said to him I hate this environment between us and want a resolution and to move forward. Because I don't offer anything new or a resolution, he goes off nothing and expected to be my crash mat which he said he isn't doing, he will not go off nothing, I said ok if that's the case shall I sort out the council and leave because I'm going to keep doing what I need to and will get there,it won't be over night but I will, he said I don't have your time frame, I want a life,I want my needs met etc, I said ok, he said he doesn't give a shit of I ring the council. I went upstairs as I needed to get ready to get out eldest from club, he comes up going all you do is the same shit clean and offer nothing, I have been out more since baby's been born, signed up to baby clubs etc and doing more to make friends. I feel like such a failure, when I cry or get emotional he says f off and wet lettuce else where I can't be dealing with it. What am I doing wrong ladies and why am I failing 😢