Why can’t I orgasm when I have sex?

Long story short, I can orgasm when I use a vibrating dildo but I can’t when my husband and I have sex… a little back story we have been together for 12 years, where each others firsts at 16 and I haven’t always been great about communicating during sex but I am getting better at it! After he finishes I use my vibrator and finish myself while he fingers me. So it’s not like I’m unsatisfied. I just would really like to orgasm while we have sex! Tell me your secrets! Lol