I feel like I'm going to have a break down. I keep telling my husband I'm really stressed and my anxiety is really bad and I'm not sleeping or getting help. Nothing changes in our home with dynamics.

I am deeply in love with my husband and if I were to compare him to other dads we know he is hands on. The issue is my load is so much more.

He works 40-60 hour weeks and I work 16-20. We have no childcare and we are barely making ends meet. I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, appointments, cellphones, health insurance, church, school stuff, and family stuff. He handles the maintenance on the home and work and bills.

He went to a work functions after work and played golf with his coworkers once this week. Then Friday all day he went to a golf tournament. Then next Friday he is going to play golf. I explained that I haven't had a break in weeks that when we all had covid I kept us all together. That I haven't been back energy wise or mentally since covid. That next weekend I'm hosting a shower and Friday was my prep day and how I can't do that with the kids.

To be fair he let me sleep in yesterday morning and this morning by and hour. The issue is when I'm not with my kids I'm working or have to help other such as throwing a shower or helping my disabled mom. I get no down time. I'm on the go all the time. I also have an autoimmune condition that affects my nervous system and I'm having more bad days then good with never getting a break. I got young kids and every errand every outing I'm carrying them and bringing them with.

I sent my husband a video from Renee Renia that talks about the default parent. Now he won't talk to me. He left with one kid to take him to visit a friend's police cruiser. Meanwhile I still have the baby at home and we have two birthday parties today and a recital tomorrow and I am going to go help my mom tomorrow.

My anxiety is getting so bad I'm so touched out and I keep explaining this without any help or change. I can't keep up doing what I am doing. I don't know what to do anymore.