I don’t want to self diagnose and say I’m an alcoholic but i definitely have an issue when it comes to alcohol, it basically started the beginning of the summer my bf of 4years left me for someone else i was heartbroken and i am diagnosed with depression and ptsd i used to be extremely suicidal i even attempted suicide several times and ended up in the er for a drug overdose at 17 and i didn’t want to go through that again i didn’t want to hurt myself again (i also self harmed) so I started drinking to suppress my feelings and have more fun because i was terrified i was going to hurt myself because i knew i would and i didn’t want to die anymore it started out the first two weeks after the breakup i was drinking everyday i would wake up in the morning and drink i would get off work I’d drink i was constantly drunk, then i started to drink only on weekends and i literally cannot go anywhere without getting drunk and not just a little no like i don’t stop until I’m blacked out and that’s what happens every time drinking has also gotten me into trouble ive been kicked out of bars and banned because I act to wild I’ve started doing things i never wanted to do, i got charges and have to go to court and i just need some help i don’t know what to do i can’t afford proper help because I’m a full time college student with bills I just want the old me back i don’t want to be like this anymore i can’t go anywhere without getting drunk i can’t even be a dd and had to Uber home one night because i failed one fucking job i had. Please no one judge me and just give me advice and if you don’t have anything nice to say please leave me alone