Should CPS become involved?

Question

We have a family friend (late 20’s) with 3 children ranging from newborn-5yrs old. My mom has taken her into her home off and on for the last few years. See, her husband is a drug addict and sex addict and is constantly cheating on her and paying girls for sex. Even on family vacations. I have no proof but we believe he may also be physically abusing her. She is a victim of abuse and it hurts me to watch her go back to him, then back to my mom for sanctuary away from him. She also is very religious and does not believe in divorce. Unfortunately when she does go back to him she leaves the 2 older kids with my mom to care for most of the time. The kids have a lot of behavioral issues due to not being shown love by both parents. They look at my mom as their mom at this point and cry for her rather then for real mother. They are thriving in my moms care. When their mom is around, they break down and the behavioral issues come back. I don’t live with my mom but my younger sisters tell me how she spanks them for no reason, only because she herself is overwhelmed trying to “save” her marriage. At this point I feel as thought she cares more for her husband then her own children. 
My mom is exhausted. She’s been helping her for years, with money, a place to live, free child care. She is so tired of her always going back to her dead beat husband, especially with him not trying to change at all. So she’s helped her apply for a woman’s shelter and now she’s on a wait list. 
At what point should CPS get involved? The kids are currently safe, fed, and clothed thanks to my mother. They won’t be in danger as long as they have her, but at what point does this turn from domestic violence to child neglect? Without my mom they would be homeless, seeing as her husband has lost the apartment due to not paying rent and the mom doesn’t have a job. 
She was a dear friend of mine when we were both teenagers and I see what is happening and I’m start to become concerned for her children’s safety. Yes she’s is being abused and I’d hate to see her kids taken away. But this can’t keep going on like this… my mom can’t be here forever to take care of them and the friend is not doing anything to make life better for herself and the children.
Update: my mom said it’s to much for her to continue housing them/feeding them/financially supporting them if she just keeps going back to him and doesn’t want help. My mom has found her resources and helped place her on the wait list for a woman’s shelter. The mother of the children will not go to therapy, and has been told that she can get a divorce by a pastor yet she loves him to much to leave which is also why she keeps playing the religion card. She refuses to get a job even thought my mom said she could baby sit if she got one. During her pregnancy with one of the children her husband drugged her to try to get her addicted but she never reported. One thing I completely forgot was when she was living with him and the kids joined her, when her son came to visit my mom he arrived with severe bleeding diaper rash and she wasn’t cleaning his penis so he would get what my mom says was infections/puss coming from his penis. She also does not change his diapers as often as she should so unless my mom is there to change him, he just hangs out in his own poop filled diaper all day. My sisters claim that the spanking has gotten out of control as well and that she will hit him over little things.

Answer

Seen as this woman is so religious that she puts herself through all the pain because she thinks that she can't get a divorce, I would try to find a priest that will let her know that it's ok to get a divorce in her situation. So that she cab let go and move on with life.

Answer

I was a domestic abuse counselor for 12 years. Parents are allowed to leave their children with another competent caregiver eg a family member, au pair, nanny etc, and grandparents are allowed to support their grandchildren financially, let them live with them etc. It isnt neglect because it doesnt matter the source of the care eg who is providing for them, feeding them, washing them etc as long as it's happening. If it's too much for your mom, thats between her and your mom, but as long as the kids are properly cared for, that isnt considered neglect. Do you have a better alternative in mind? Because CPS at best can basically just put them with another family member, or in foster care. It sounds like theyre better off with their grandma than that. If youd prefer to take custody as their foster parent for example, then thats another issue.
Fyi even if the kids were living with mom and her abuser, it's only reportable if the children witness physical violence, or if his drug use puts them in danger eg theres dangerous drug items left around, or she lets him watch the kids unsupervised while hes intoxicated. Cheating, soliciting prostitutes etc is irrelevant unless he brings it in front of the kids.
It sounds like a crappy situation, but not really reportable.

Answer

If your mom wants to care for the kids and cps won’t intervene, maybe contact a family lawyer and see if she can adopt the kids so they have stability and a chance at a future. This is of course if that’s what your mom wants, ultimately the children are the responsibility of the parents that don’t seem to care for them.

Answer

If you get child services involved, most likely the kids will just be in your mothers care which they already are, Is she tired of taking care of their children, is that what’s going on here? Because if she’s looking for custody of the kids, she’s going to have those kids 24 hours a day if she’s already tired, another option is Government services, section 8, transitional housing, food stamps, welfare, wic, State funded daycare, Medicaid for insurance, Obama cell phone, the list goes on and on. Maybe she’s better off setting her up that way, I strongly recommend having whatever religious law affiliate she’s involved with priest, rabbi, whatever it may be have a sit down conversation with her, because clearly she’s not listening to your mother. And at this point, she’s either going to end up with those kids, or she needs to get her situated elsewhere with the kids, talk to Womans Space or whatever domestic violence or women’s community center you have any area, and give her some mental therapy, they usually have pro bono lawyers to help with the paperwork for divorce, custody, child support, alimony, whatever she wants. Clearly she needs help, and more ways than one, and at least it would take some thing off your mothers plate by getting her situated with government services.

Answer

She can't treat her kids like shit & ditch them with your mom all the time. If she truly cared she would stay at your moms with her children and no go back. I people are going to say its hard to leave your abuser but she was out & living somewhere else & still went back ....report her the kids don't need to suffer bc she is religious & won't get a divorce THATS NOT THEIR PROBLEM!!!

Should CPS become involved?

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