Long story short, my fiancé became a stay at home dad back in February. He ended up getting a pretty sizable severance check and I stressed to him how crucial it was that not only does he pay off his $20k+ debt so he’d no longer have his wages garnished if and when he got another job, but also use some of that money to pay up the rest of this years rent, I had already applied my taxes to pay up to October. I told him if you don’t pay rent up, by October you will have to have find another job because I can only afford to support our family of 4 on my income so long as I don’t have to pay rent.

He did pay his debt off but he did not pay up rent. Instead he spent a little under 30k on trivial shit in about 3 months. So I started hounding him to find work. He finally got a call back from FedEx and scheduled his orientation to which he rescheduled THREE TIMES… so it took him a month just to get his orientation done. They immediately got him on the schedule that very day after his last day of orientation. He worked his first shift this morning and told me even though it’s hard work, he’s going to stick it out. So I was fucking relieved. I’ve been working overtime for months and stressing tf out about how I’m going to pay for shit and I’ve got bills getting behind. Christmas is only what…like 3 months away and I’ve got two small children to buy for. I’m drowning here. So today was the first day in about 5 months that I’ve been genuinely happy.

This motherfucker worked ONE shift, had his mom watch the kids so he could sleep to go to work this morning, and then decided literally 2 hours before his next scheduled shift that it’s too much for him and he isn’t going back. So tomorrow I’ll be putting myself back on the overtime list and stressing tf out about how I’m going to keep the lights on and feed my babies 🥺

I grew up like this and man it kills me that my kids parents are poor. I’m trying SO hard for them, to stay positive and keep busting my ass but I’m burnt out and I’m sad and I’m overwhelmed….

And pissed - for all the reasons above but ALSO because this mofo just added $100 to my Verizon bill because he “bought” a new pair of Beats Headphones but Verizon has that pay as you go option so you can just tack shit on to your bill. I just brought it down from $340 to $225 and now it’s back up to $325. And he really had the audacity to tell me he doesn’t feel bad and that he’s “not going to risk hurting himself” to make me happy. Bruh. It’s not to make me happy, it’s to house and feed our children. So I might have to get a second job because it’s apparent to me I cannot rely on my fiancé and I’m obviously in no position to leave him. Yet anyway.

I just need…idk advice or word of encouragement. Or validation. Idk but I think I’m finally at my breaking point and I might have a mental breakdown