do you mean your husband or ex husband? I would only let someone be there who had my best interests at heart and can advocate on my behalf if something went wrong so no I wouldn't as he has already proven to be untrustworthy

I’m not sure if the commenters who are getting upset at those for saying “no” have ever had major surgery and/or been cheated on during pregnancy by a spouse. It’s ok to share your opinions and tell others what you’d do in the situation, but I wouldn’t shame everyone else for giving the advice or opinions they’re giving either. This is a very delicate situation. There’s no real right or wrong here. I’ve had a previous c-section and even though all went smoothly, it’s still terrifying. It’s major surgery. My husband is my calming presence. I needed him there because we have a wonderful relationship and I needed his support. If he had cheated on me during my pregnancy, I wouldn’t have allowed him in the OR because I wouldn’t have needed to feel any more uneasy than major surgery already makes me feel. Why should mom need a constant reminder of the heartbreak and infidelity during such an already anxiety-provoking time? She needs support and a soothing presence. If he wanted to be present during his child’s birth, he should have been present for mom during her entire pregnancy. He can see baby immediately after and he can be the father he wants to be for as long as he lives— no one’s trying to take that away from him. At the end of the day, it’s a very personal decision for mom. She has do what’s best for her in this situation.

Are you separating, or planning on working things out? It really doesnt matter what I would do, or 1,000 women would do, what matters is where do YOU decide to go from here? If youre working things out or still amicable, excluding him feels like punishment, which is petty. Either make the choice to really move forward, or end it. If youre divorcing and it's ugly, and his presence is stressful and toxic, then thats a legitimate decision.

So many with low standards stay commenting on these post. And are quick to be condescending to other women and their right to boundaries and standards. I personally would not want someone in the OR that I don't have a good relationship with. I need a real support partner whom I can trust. Not someone who showed me no respect but wants the privilege of having full access. He can see the baby after l'm done with one of the most stressful and potentially dangerous moments of my life. It’s not about revenge or punishing the father, it’s about her right to protect herself, her health and her peace.

Why is there not a hell no option? I only want someone who is supportive to be there while I deliver. He lost his chance.

My opinion as a professional doula is that it is your birth experience and you should never allow someone to be present that will make your experience awful. Birth is traumatic in some cases I would recommend someone who makes you feel safe and like they would completely advocate for you. My husband and I are separated for some similar issues. And there is a possibility I am pregnant as I am late and I have not quite taken a test. But I don’t think he will be in the room if I am personally. He can be present at the hospital or maybe watch our other child. But there is way too much heart ache for him to be in a room that will already be and emotional situation.

Absolutely not. A c-section is a major surgery that’s you are completely conscious for. Any spike in heart rate or blood pressure due to stress can be harmful to you and/or your baby. For that fact alone I would say no. Not to mention that giving birth is supposed to be a beautiful moment in your life, you shouldn’t sacrifice your happiness because your husband has no regard for anyone but himself. He’s got the rest of his life to bond with his child, you deserve that moment of peace. Anyone who’s saying that “it’s his child too” seems to have forgotten that his child was not on his mind when he was sleeping around.

I can choose whoever I want to be there. If the father ruined the pregnancy because of his selfishness I will also be happy to keep him out of the happy moment. I don’t care. I don’t care if he will always be the father. He doesn’t have to be there for that moment. My choice.

If y’all are staying together why not? Even if you aren’t that’s still his child, you still want him to sign the birth certificate and be active so why take that from him

I feel like if this creep actually even cared about you in even a small way he never would have cheated on you while pregnant with his baby. I actually don’t think he even cares a small amount for the life and well fare of this baby either. If he’s out disrespecting you and having sex with another woman. Why not just leave the relationship if he wanted to sleep with someone else? Or at least separate from his pregnant wife and divorce after baby is born. But this jerk off didn’t care if he caused his wife so much pain and stress it could have potentially caused the miscarriage of his own child. Or he could have passed op an std that’s deadly for a baby. He doesn’t even deserve to be called a father imo. Nor does he have any right whatsoever to witness the birth of the baby. Labor and delivery is about the Mom’s mental, emotional and physical health and well-being and same with baby. It’s absolutely not about some selfish, scum bag that obvi doesn’t care much about the mother of his child or his baby as far as I’m concerned if he did care at all he wouldn’t have been so disgusting.