Jealousy?

I’m not sure if jealousy is the right word. I’m genuinely happy for her and her family. They found out today that they are having twins ❤️

This friend is very close. We work together every day. We run a licensed daycare together. And just a few weeks ago, we were going to be having babies together also.

But mine ended early. Chemical pregnancy. This is the 4th chemical pregnancy I’ve had. I was really hoping this one would stick and that my close friend and I could experience this journey together.

Now? I don’t know how I feel. Bad. She gets 2. I get none. And I take care of other people’s babies for a living.

My heart just hurts right now. Sending love to anyone out there that may relate to these feelings. They aren’t very pleasant. I keep trying to convince myself I’m not ugly for having them.