My husband and I have been together 8 years. We have 2 kids of our own and all together 7 kids. We both work fulltime. I work from home so I can care for our baby and also my mother who is disabled. We bought a house last year and my husband invited his childhood friend to come stay with us so he can get back on his feet. That was suppose to last 3 months it has been a year. And since then our lives have been a living hell. Well from my point anyway. My kids want his friend gone. He doesnt pay any bills, he drinks and smokes cigarettes in my house after I repeatedly told him we have 2 kids allergic to smoke. He leaves his beer cans everywhere making my house stink. His room smells horribly!! He has a cat he doesnt care for like he should. He constantly has to have my husband with him all the time like they are teenagers. My husband spends more time with him than he does me and the kids. It is causing major fights. Our bills are extremely behind. I am stressed to the max. All his friend does is eat our food, raise our cost of bills, bring friends and women into my house all hours of the night. I can get up to go to the bathroom and some stranger is walking through my house at 1am. He doesnt have a vehicle so my husband and I take him to work when he works. He has quit 3 jobs because they wanted him to work fulltime and he didnt want to work more than 2 days a week. I told him he needed to get a stable job and get out. I have constantly tried talking to my husband and he just wont listen to me. Weed is medically legal in my area. My husband has his card. His friend does not. But his friend will smoke like a train all day and night. He spends $50-$60 a day just on weed. Bumming money from girls or my husband to pay for it. I told my husband if he can blow money on weed, alcohol, dates, and cigarettes than he can help pay some bills or get out. I have my own kids I am taking care of. At this point he has made it where he and my husband no longer help me with bills. Me and my mom pay all of it. I am drowning here. At the age of 40 you would think he would have his life together. But he sees nothing wrong with what he does. My husband and I have never been this distant or fought so much. He actually told my husband to leave me for a week and then maybe I wouldnt be such a nagging b*tch. Im exhausted, depressed, my marriage has always been strong until now, and I am just drowning. He doesnt help clean. My husband and i use to be so close. But he doesnt even go on dates with me anymore which has always been our number 1 rule. All of his time is now with his friend. What his friend wants to do. It is to the point I am afraid we will divorce. I love my husband with all of my heart. We use to have a wonderful spicey sex life. Now we dont have one at all. My husband doesnt come to bed until 1 or 2 am he is up smoking and drinking with his friend. I have told him I feel neglected. But he says its BS and I am being dramatic. I want to fix my marriage. I have asked his friend to leave but he ignores me. I told my husband today he needs to have him out in 30 days or I don't think our marriage is going to work anymore. He seemed to be thinking about it. I told him our kids want his friend out as well. He needs to pick being a husband and dad. Or go be a 40 yr old man acting like a teenager. I refuse to live this life anymore. His first marriage ended for basically the same thing. So am I overreacting or does he need to pick a lifestyle?