I am in a difficult situation.

I am planning on moving out of my bf’s house. I’m terrified, but I am so unhappy. I don’t want to go into details because it is too long, but my plan is once I get a place, which I hope is soon, then I would start moving my little important things, like my baby’s things, my sons toys, small kitchen appliances I’ve bought, and stuff from my sons room, and then while he’s at work, have movers come and pick up my furniture up that I can’t lift. I was in an abusive relationship with someone else a few years ago, but it didn’t get abusive until after being with him for awhile, and the first incident was when I tried to leave. He didn’t care that the neighbors heard us either (he went to jail twice) so for me, my unborn baby, and my 4 year olds safety, I feel this is the safest way to go because I haven’t seen my current bf get mad, he suppresses his anger/stress, and he told me his father was abusive towards his mother. Among other things that indicate I should be careful.

But being able to find a place is starting to scare me. I applied for an apartment, and also section 8. He works thirds, so I went during the day while he was asleep. I’m on ssi. My mom said she and my stepfather would consider co signing on a trailer because they haven’t seen me this depressed and I’ve told them what’s been going on with my relationship. and I try my best not to cry so my son doesn’t worry, but I have broke down so many times because how my bf has been acting towards me. But my parents are still discussing it, and I’m not going to get my hopes up. But they said they’d help. I’m just terrified that I’m going to be stuck here forever unhappy. I had an apartment before I moved in, and my gut was telling me to stay there. Oh how I wished I listened to it 😭

Also, we were supposed to get another place, and he hasn’t been paying the rent like he should. He said he was going to add another room but he can’t even put up a door. And adding a room is near the amount of what it would have costed us to get another place. He wanted to start this weekend but I don’t want that. Should I just keep the peace and suggest my son share his room with the baby so he doesn’t go and get all that stuff? I have been so stressed to the point I’ve been sick with stomach pain and throwing up. 😭