Guys and porn??

Question

So me and my so are at his parents for the week for Christmas. We went to his granny's then to his mamaws today. Overall had an amazing day until 20 mins ago. He just came out of the bathroom so I looked at his phone to connect to wifi and we both have iPhones so I just double clicked the home button to see what he's been on and the very last tab was porn. Like are you fucking kidding me? Didn't say a single word to me about wanting it. Didn't hint around or anything. I personally was going to ask for it tonight but now I don't even want him near me. I feel like he don't even find me attractive in the first place then he goes and watches porn and has not a damn thing to say about it. Like I'm seriously pissed off. Why do men do this shit? He knows he will get whatever he wants if he just says something. I mean it's Christmas for heavens sake and he ruins it by watching porn...

Answer

I think this is a fabulous opportunity for you.

You have a rare opportunity to jump up like twenty points on the "beloved girlfriend/wife scale" in one moment.  You can make him love you and APPRECIATE you even more than he already does.

You should be excited!!

Ok- hear me out.  :)

Step one- realize that the porn is fantasy.  He doesn't like porn more than he likes you.  Porn is just something guys with libidos do.  It's not a glitch.  It's a feature.

Holding porn against him would be like being mad at a raincloud for raining.  You're spinning your wheels- and it's a seriously unstrategic use of your emotional resources.

You have to wrap your head around that reality first if you want a good outcome.

Step two - Use the porn to your advantage.  The type of porn he chooses reveals LOTS about kinds of things turn him on.  Be open to learning! Talk to him, and be genuinely intrigued.  Why does this particular kind of porn turn him on? Is there something in it that you guys could try together sometime?

Scolding him won't work and only makes him hide it better next time.  It drives you and his fantasy life farther apart.  That's the opposite of what you want.

As his loving partner- You're NOT there to punish him for playing out his sexual fantasies in the privacy of his own mind.   That's not your job.

And it's not really your right either.  You don't actually have a right to police his inner mental life.  Would you want him policing yours...?

Right now- you get a rare and wonderful chance to be his amazing, non-shaming, fun-loving sex partner.  To get closer to him instead of farther apart.  To "win" this night - all you have to do now is be interested in him instead of angry at him.

He will LOVE you for taking this attitude, promise.

Good luck!!
Would love to hear how it goes, if you read this and decide to give it a shot. :)

Answer

I hate porn! I would be mad... Why do they need porn when they have a perfectly fine woman right there with them. I also feel it gives unrealistic expectations of what sex in real life is like

Answer

Its not "what guys do" its what people do. I watch porn. My SO watches porn. Never together. But when we have our alone time or what not. I get mad if he watches porn INSTEAD of making love to me. But if he does both when needed and wanted. I cant complain. 
So i partially understand why ur upset. Your jealous of the porn. Normal to feel like that. But dont scold him either or itll make it worse. 
Communication is keeeeyyyyyy.

Answer

Guys and porn is common....

I don't expect it to go away... I know my husband watches porn, but I know he loves me more! Lol...

I accepted it,.. Hell I watch porn with him!

So I was it just depends on how your relationship is with him.

Answer

Maybe being at his parents house is ruining his mojo and he just needs a quick release? Sorry but once you come to terms with the fact porn is an aid for a quick fix and not his preference then youll stop being hurt over it.

Answer

I don't mind my husband watching porn that's his thing and if he wanted I'd watch with him. I have my erotic romance and he doesn't complain so it's all fair I guess cause he still comes to me and not someone else

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It's not a man thing. Does he know that him watching porn bothers you? If it does bother you, why? It sounds like you're holding onto resentment instead of just communicating with your hubby.

Answer

I've asked my fiancé if he watches porn(cause I never see him on anything like that ) and he straight up said he does. He watches it on his own time and that's ok with me. I only found his porn one time and that's how I found out what kind he's into. But it doesn't affect how he is towards me in the bedroom. I'd just talk to him and explain how it makes you feel and maybe if you feel like you're not meeting his needs then he can communicate how things can change. It's all abut communication. He's obviously attracted to you because you're pregnant. I think it's something a lot of men and women both do.

Answer

That's annoying ! Have you confronted him?

Answer

Fuck that guy, not literally.

Guys and porn??

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