Feeling Defeated

I have had 2 Miscarriages and 1 chemical pregnancy. Our last miscarriage happen in May. I am currently 8 weeks pregnant and go to the doctor today. Yesterday around 4 pm I started having some spotting when I wipe and a few hours later light period like cramps. I woke up this morning and the blood has brightened. I feel defeated. What suppose to be an exciting appointment is now a heartbreaking. Will I hear the heartbeat today just to pass it in a few days. Our last MC happened around 7 weeks so when we made it to 8 we thought this was the one….. I guess I was wrong. Should I just start drinking now? I mean what’s the point?