Am I wrong for this?

Hi everyone. So I recently got married, partner and I have been trying to conceive since then about 4 months now but nothing yet! When I see the negatives I will admit I get kind of happy but because I look up to being able to go out and party, and have some fun with alcohol and a cigarette here and there but when I go to bed I get a little sad at the fact that I haven’t been able to get a positive test. I know I may be selfish as to some couples who have been trying for years! But my question is. Am I the only one who feels like they are ready for a baby, but the same time they are not? But then get sad when they see pregnancy announcements and pass by baby aisle at the stores?…