Dear people with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

BPD...its like being caught in a whirlwind storm with a million different emotions..feelings..negative thoughts and pain..but you cant pinpoint exactly what it is your feeling and you cannot find the words to describe how your feeling to someone so they could understand.. BPD is so exhausting and debilitating having to struggle and fight these never ending battles that wont stop happening in your head..it causes you to feel such extreme amounts of pain and suffering that you have been unable to cope with every single day.. BPD is so misunderstood that when the sufferer finally has found enough courage to cry out for help and support.. everyone around them either has already turned their backs or thinks you can just turn off what ever it is you are feeling just like a light switch.. BPD is so misunderstood that people having to find the hope to just get through the day just end up feeling that everything and everyone's lives would be so much better if they were not around any longer.. People who have BPD have such sensitive triggers..the tiniest and stupidest little thing can set them off and then they feel more and more hopeless and helpless..how i distinguish myself is that i am at a point where I Only Got Me for Life.. no one can truly understand what it truly feels like until you actually have seen hell and know that dark shadow that surrounds you is your reality.. imagine being strapped down to a huge rollar coaster and then being blind folded. You dont know where you r going..or whats in your path..the rollar coaster ride never ends..u r drowning from the inside and you just cant catch your breath..you feel empty and that u have no purpose..u feel alone but the worst thing of all.. you feel that u deserve every single bit of the torture.. and the pain is what reminds you that you are still alive ♡

BPD makes me feel like I'm insane and I need to be locked up. I get picked on a lot for being more loud and causing "drama and problems" with family and friends. Whenever I want to talk about something I can't really decipher what I need to vent out about and then people don't believe me. It's really hat living with BPD and it makes me want to kill myself sometimes because I can't live like this anymore. My mother refuses to think that I have something wrong with me and I can't do anything to help myself. Does Anybody have advice on how to feel more sane or how to get better? Thank you. 

My mom has BPD and it's like having a sunburn when it comes to her feelings. She thinks everyone is out to get her. So normal daily interactions "burn" more-so than a neurotypical person. If she encounters a rude social situation, she takes it way more personally than a NT person would. 

BPD feels like I'm a manipulative person. I hate it. There was one point where my SO was close to breaking up with me, that I almost said "I'll kill myself if you leave!". I still hate myself for that. It's just that I feel horrible when I'm single and I cant stand it. And I actually felt that way, I wasn't wanting to manipulate him to get him to stay, but it was just what I honestly thought would happen. I've never been misdiagnosed with Bipolar, I dont have the majority of symptoms.

Some days I'm fine. Others, I feel trapped in my own anxiety and insanity. I'm 18 weeks pregnant. Single. And 18. I'm scared about everything that pops in my head I got a storm warning rotary on my phone and wanted to go sit in my closet. I've never had a fear of storms. Ever. But now I'm scared. I keep having dreams where I am in the terrible situation and they we're going to kill me and I said anything but that because If I die my baby will die too. I wish there was someone here to hold me and tell me it's okay. But I can't have that. I'm freaking out. I wish I could just wake up.

I take a lot of little things way to personally to the point of where I feel like I'm being attacked even though I'm really attacking someone else. It took me a long time to be able to rationalize what happened after it happened although I am still not at the point where I can do that in the moment. It also took a lont time to seperate myself from this disorder. Even the word disorder just made me feel like I was a broken person. One thing that helped is my dbt therapy workbook that I work on daily and the most important I think is my meditation practice. It really allows yourself to calm your mind and the mantras I use such as "I am not broken. I do not need to be fixed" really helped me overcome the feeling that I was messy and undeserving of love.

I have to be alone right now, if,im with anyone my bpd symptoms get a million times worse. Im figuring out my meds. Best thing is I just started binge eating again and that hasn't happened in years.

I think I have both bipolar 2 and bpd but bpd I have had since childhood and not recognising that and becoming severe led to mood disorders.. it is difficult- always feeling like i am not likeable, insecure, that people will criticise you, reject you and something bad is happening or will happen ...you try hard to fight those thoughts and something stressful happens then you react emotionally - either panic or get angry and frustrated and you act on it... and then you feel so depressed and ashamed of your behaviour for acting impulsively.. and you feel guilty for hurting the people you love..then you again fear that you yourself will act impulsively and face negative consequences that follow.. and that people will be disappointed in you... while it is managed, you can live a normal life but when life gets stressful, it can really get out of hand and you need extra help...