In 2021 I realized I was bi, but was married and I've just not felt attracted to people because im a very loyal person. It would never go past like an artistic appreciation of aesthetic features.

Now I'm going to be divorcing my husband. I already left a month ago and haven't filed because.... I guess I was still processing things and not ready to admit that it was over no matter how much hes lied or how he'd treated me.

Anyway I went out to a local live band thing because it seemed like a fun thing and my dad was going so, why not? At first I was looking at her because I was trying to figure out why she had her back turned to the band (later more of their group came and they were sitting facing the band but those were empty seats when I was trying to figure this out). Then I noticed how cute her hair was. Then her style. Then her face. I thought I was just appreciating her aesthetic (not staring i like people watching and was watching a lot of the crowd) until my heart went pitter patter.

I thought it was my anxiety until I realized when she got up I wondered if she was going to walk by me. I was like.... omg this is a little baby crush. My overactive brain was like... what if she's also queer? People are asking other people to dance what if she asked me? What would i say? Would I have to tell her im married but getting a divorce? I didn't like being lied to by my partner and I would want to know if I was going to ask someone to dance? (All those anxiety people thoughts. I didn't talk to her, don't know who she is, will likely never see her again)

But I've been feeling like an imposter calling myself bisexual and this made me realize two things.

1. Definitely bi

2. Probably ready to move on and officially get a divorce.

Don't know if anyone else relates to any part of this but I just wanted to share because I dont have people to talk to about it.

For the person that said its unnatural: I really hope you learn to look past your white eurocentric mindset because most cultures since the dawn of time have accepted queer people. Its only when Christianity colonized like the whole world that it became status quo and spread to other cultures so they could keep up with the people in power.