Wtf?! Seriously?!?

Question

My fiancé has kids from a previous marriage. The girl is his, the boy is not but he raised him since 6 months old and the bio father is in prison.   The child is the most difficult, disrespectful, manipulative child I have ever met.  If he doesn't get his way prepare for 1.) tantrum 2.) wants to go home to moms house. 3.) tells mom things about me that aren't true.

I swear it's like this kid is trying to split us up.  He was fine with it in the beginning when my fiancé first talked to them about him dating me & living with me.    Now suddenly it's one thing after another. 1.) telling his mother my fiancé & I argue all the time and it's scares them. (We never argue in front of them, never have) 2.) telling her he wants them to get back together. 3.) and now today telling her I'm being mean to him when he was asked 100 times to clean his room by me and his father.

This is my house and I'm not going to keep being disrespected.  Im getting to the end of my rope.  Rant over.

Answer

I immediately went into therapist mode. How old is this child? You said everything was fine at the beginning when you talked about moving in and now when things have gotten more serious his behavior escalated? Sounds like he may be trying to push you away (probably not maliciously or intentionally) because you are becoming closer to his father. A kids mind works in crazy ways. He wants to have his dad all to himself so he lies about you to his mom/ throws tantrums so that you won't want him around either, probably hoping you will leave on your own so things will go back to his normal again. Change is really tough for a kid.

Answer

I think you and the mom and dad all need to sit down together and talk. You're all on the same parenting team and its up to all of you to figure out where this bad behavior is coming from. Good for you for not wanting to be disrespected in your own house! That's the only way this child is going to get discipline and learn that this is not acceptable

Answer

No consequences really because the mother says for dad to "grow some balls and give him what he wants". They always give in to him because it's easier than fighting with him and the dad (my fiancé)  doesn't want him to stop coming over.   I'm sorry but this is not a free for all. This is my house and I'm not gonna be manipulated by and 8 year old. But their mother is for real te biggest idiot. There's no talking to her about anything and he's his mothers child. There way or the highway

Answer

How old is your sorta stepson?? My sister had this EXACT same problem with her 7yo stepson. He would even pee on her carpets when he was mad!!!! (Btw this kid still hates/fears me)

I think you need to have a long (adult) talk with his mom about everything that's going on. Also you have to let him know you're not going anywhere and you and dad are boss at your house. If you have to pop his hands sometimes do it!! Do NOT be afraid to discipline but because how he is acting tell dad or mom when you do. That way everything is always on the table and no one can be blindsided but him.

Answer

Im going through the exact same thing except both kids r bio his. When we first started dating my now husband was bringing his childrens older (by 2 yrs) sister everytime he would bring his own kids. The little girl was rude to my bio son and I told my husband that she was no longer welcomed in our home. 
His youngest bio son can be difficult with tantrums. When mom has a question i directly confront to situation so that there is no miscommunication. However, mom did blame me for CPS being called on her and refused to allow dad to see the kids for 7 weeks and now tip toes around me. Ugh!

Answer

Hell no you talk to his mother and tell him he needs to behave and tell his father if he doesn't stop your leaving. You do not have to take that drama

Answer

He's 8 years old. Almost 9. And his daughter just turned 7 and she is the sweetest. She adores me and always does everything we ask.

Answer

The farther needs step up make the kid mind. . Are their consequences to his bad behavior?

Wtf?! Seriously?!?

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