About 3 years ago I had my first miscarriage. It shook me to my core. I was a mother without a child. So we started trying. We got pregnant again... another miscarriage. Then I went on medicine to help with conception. We got pregnant again and I was so excited. All we had needed was a little help! Then... there was blood. I knew I was loosing another baby but, it was Easter. A day to be happy. We were getting ready to do an Easter egg hunt and my mom tells us we get to go out the door first(yes we still egg hunt as adults-its awesome). My sister in law not knowing what I'm going through makes the comment that it's easier for me since I have no kids. I break down.

This miscarriage is more painful than the others. I go to the doctor and they say it's a miscarriage. I'm almost unable to walk at work 3 weeks later. I had an ectopic pregnancy. Where the egg attaches in the tube. It had burst and I was bleeding internally. I didn't know this until I was getting sick in the ER, had a seizure and passed out. They had to do emergency surgery and I almost died.

We decided not to have kids. There is too much hurt. Yesterday I found out I'm pregnant. I'm terrified and struggling to cope. Just why? I know there isn't an answer I just needed to put this all somewhere.