Sorry, this may get long.

I (29f) have been married to my husband (31m) for 3 years now. It’s not been the easiest relationship but overall we have been doing fairly well lately.

My husband doesn’t like to have sex while I’m on my period, and while I think it’s a little silly, I recognize that this is his preference and that is his choice to make. But last night as we were going to bed I mentioned to him that I felt like we had been more like roommates for the past few days while I was on my period. And he said “well, we normally are that way on your period.” And I told him that it would be a good time to work on non-sexual physical intimacy, since that’s important too. (Like why would you just be ok with feeling like roommates and not trying to improve things?) he just said hmm. And when I asked what that meant, he said it meant “ok.”

Today, I got my iud removed as we have decided we are ready for kids. I told him I was nervous about it and he tried to be encouraging. Afterwards I told him “I lived lol.” He asked about how my hormones will respond over time but didn’t ask how I was feeling. So later I mentioned I was feeling a little weird, and he replied with a text about something else completely. I finally told him I was kind of hurt he hadn’t checked in, and he just told me “you said you were fine” (I hadn’t said that.) I stopped texting for a bit and the. He came at me with the “and now you’re all mad at me, aren’t you.” I told him I had been hurt and mad, but had worked out and calmed down to avoid saying something I’d regret, and that I was doing better.

He came home from work, and we really didn’t interact all night. I made him dinner, he didn’t thank me or anything. He asked to play video games together and I said I would as soon as I was finished with the round I was playing myself. Before I finished he just got up and went to bed. No goodnight, nothing.

I went to our room and asked if he was ok. He said yes, just tired. I mentioned that we hadn’t hugged or kissed or talked or anything since he’d gotten home. And he pretty much just said “well I’m tired, and you were tired earlier. And I was asleep before you came in here.” So I felt a little accused of waking him up, so I got up, said ok, we’ll sleep well, I love you.” And left our room. Didn’t hear him respond at all. And now he’s asleep and I’m wondering why our relationship feels so platonic sometimes.