Alright so.

For reference we’re both early 20s. 3 year age gap. I dated this guy for 6 months. Everything was going well, until the last month of our relationship. He was stretched thin with 2 jobs, along with having depression and being stressed out over life. Now I know this is not an excuse, but for background. We were going through a super rough patch, arguing and fighting literally every day. Didn’t even wanna talk to eachother half the time. Relationship was basically over. He ended up cheating on me and having sex with a mutual friend. I didn’t find this out until after we had broke up and became friends again a month later. Obviously, stopped being friends with him. He also fucked my best friend the day he started talking to me again the second time. (for reference - met her thru him and came close with her again after me and him had broke up. they didn’t fuck while we were dating) Recently we became friends again (3rd time now. haven’t dated since the first time tho) and had a long talk about everything. Unless it’s a lie, the only other “cheating” was he tried to kiss a girl in the early stages of our relationship not thinking. I also had went through his phone so I would’ve found out about anything else.

I exposed him to all of his friends and made him feel like a piece of shit.

Now, he’s come back into my life (it’s been 4-5ish months since we became friends the second time, 6-7 since we broke up) and both him and mutual friends tell me that he’s cut literally everyone out of his life other than his close friends. He’s working on changing himself and plans on going back to therapy. He told me he realized how much he loved me and that he fucked up - wasn’t thinking and was just over everything and the relationship at the time. That it’s not the person he wants to be. He’s done everything to try and prove himself - been super open with his phone, where he’s at, what he’s doing, has not talked to any girls or tried to flirt, pays for a bunch of food and makes an effort to hang and be a sweetheart to me, etc. He’s been trying to make it up to my friends and family and take my parents out to dinner.

Obviously I have mixed opinions from friends. Some hate him and don’t want me to get back with him. Others think he’s genuinely trying to change and I should give him a second chance. I told myself I would never take him back, and I haven’t yet, but i’ve been friends with him again for about 2 months and i’m starting to think he genuinely is trying to change.

To say i’ve never seen a man cry harder than when we have serious talks about what has happened and getting past it, and he will sob over how sorry he is and how bad he feels.

Which I know also isn’t an excuse. But i know it’s not fake crying. And these past two months all he’s done is try and show me he genuinely cares for me and won’t fuck up again. And he knows i’m not ready yet, and he’s still making an effort.

I’m not sure what to do. And i’m not sure if I believe he can change or not. Idk what to do. I genuinely do love him still and want to take him back but I don’t want to get hurt again.

FIRST TIME MOM

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