Been single for the past 4 years until recently. Re-connected with a guy that I met few years ago. We went on one date few years ago, I didn’t take it further because my brother got diagnosed with cancer and figured it wasn’t the right time to start a relationship.

Fast forward to two months ago, we reconnected. Went on a few dates than made it official. I fell pretty hard for this dude in short amount of time which is odd for me since I’ve never felt this way about someone. I’ve always dated people I didn’t truly like. So, all these feelings was a first for me.

It wasn’t perfect, which should’ve been a sign because things should go smoothly until you’re out of the honey moon phase. It’s like we had ours for two weeks than shit hit the fan. We’ve both had past toxic relationships that’s left us damaged so I figured this was a way for us to connect but I don’t think he’s over his trauma. It’s only been two years for him and it took me 4 years to get over mine.

He ranted about how I am the most patient and kind girl he’s ever met. I am very patient woman but even patient person has their limits.

About a month in we broke up because he got scared about falling in love with me, didn’t think he was worthy of me and thought I was too good of a person. He kept drunk calling me at night wanting me back than taking it all back in the morning. We got back together and it lasted a total month again.

Over the weekend he begged me to stay two nights with him since we haven’t seen each other in a few weeks due to work and schedule differences. I agreed and went over there. He lives about a hour away.

Friday night everything was fine, He had communicated in the past that his love language was not touch. I gave him his personal space and allowed him to make the first moves on me.

Saturday night is when everything hit the fan once again. It was 11pm, I spent most of the day in his bed watching him play video games. We rarely touched. Few stolen kisses in there.

After we got done playing cards, he grabbed my hand and told me it wasn’t working out. He went through a bunch of excuses. One was that I was too touchy, I debunked that by pointing out I hadn’t made the first touch since I’ve been here. He tried to say he wasn’t attracted to me, I also debunked that by saying how much he raves about my looks. Than he tried to say that he hated my personality, I debunked that by saying how much he loves that I have a bubbly personality. Than went with the I just want to be alone.

I grabbed my shit and stormed down the stairs and drove a hour in the dark and rain. I asked why he had me to come all the way over just for him to break up with me on the second night. He blamed it on me saying how I was at fault for giving him the second chance.

I got the closure I needed though. I know now that it’s not that he feels like I am too good for him. It’s the fact that he used me to fill his loneliness for one night and wanted to throw me away again. This has happened once before.

I am unsure why I pick horrible men. I just hope my next experience is better! He’s already texted me 7 times without me replying once. His last one was ‘ I tried my best’

Pisses me off when someone uses me