Okay so this will be a lot.

I just found out two weeks ago that my husband has been cheating on me for the last seven years with many women, including his ex girlfriend, two girls from his high school, and many more. We got married last year in October and I got pregnant during our wedding week. I gave birth June 22, 2022 to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. We are both first time parents in our late twenties as well as never married before each other.

Two weeks ago I picked up his phone to check the time or something and I saw a sexting app up. It was well known and established that I considered that cheating. I freaked, took his phone and hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes while he stood outside with our crying baby and begged me to talk to him. I know now that he just didnt want me to explore his phone too deeply and find everything else.

I sent myself some screenshots of the sexting app and a hidden folder on his phone in his photos app. I gave the phone back, packed our baby up and went to my moms for four days.

We talked a lot over text and he told me he would tell me everything, he had nothing to hide, all he wanted was to fix things with me and prove to me how much he wanted me. On the third day at my moms, I found an email address in our password software that led me to a flower website. He bought flowers for a girl twice, the most recent time was 6 weeks after I gave birth. I called her and she told me they had been talking for years and did I know about all the money he sent her? Then it came out that he had three girlfriends that I know of. One relationship started before our wedding and continued through my pregnancy. Another was a 4 year off and on thing. The last was his last serious girlfriend before me and that lasted 6 years.

It eventually came out that he has spent about $20,000 on girls. He sent one girl money two days before my planned c section. Days after our 6 year anniversary. Two weeks before our wedding.

I am the breadwinner in our family but he makes so much money its stupid. He never contributed to the family, not even to decorating our babies nursery or paying for his parents to come visit for the birth of our daughter. I paid for all of that.

Two days before I found out about the cheating, I found out that he was $65,000 in debt. It came due that day and he was freaking out. He applied for a debt consolidation loan and was denied. I ended up emptying my savings that day and paying $32,000 of it off for him. The rest is still unpaid.

In 2019 I found out he was using the same sexting app and we almost separated because of it. He swore to me he wouldn’t ever do it again. I gave him another try.

Now he says that he has a porn addiction and an addiction to his phone. That hes going to get therapy and that he wants to stop using his phone, stop watching porn, focus on us and the family. He wants to get a joint bank account now and have me check his stuff anytime I want. He never wanted to before because he didnt want me to find out what he was doing.

I am a firm believer that checking my partners phone will only drive ME crazy and won’t help anything. I never wanted to be in a relationship where I had to worry about that kind of thing.

He had a secret email with a secret password, a secret instagram, discord, kik, snapchat, cash app, Venmo and more that I didnt know about. He sometimes used crypto to pay these girls. He is extremely techy and im not. I know he could get away with it if he was more careful. It was a once in a million chance that I saw his phone that day. There’s no way I can trust him.

His ex had the same birthday as me so on my birthday he was sending her money.

He once sent a girl a photo of the jewelry I bought myself and told her to pick something out and he would give it to her. She didnt believe him and didnt ask for anything.

I am extremely open in bed. I would give him everything he ever wanted. Instead of pursuing me, he snuck away to talk to these girls.

He has spent the last few weeks begging me for another chance. His parents are now involved and committed to making sure he doesnt do this again, but how much that will matter, im not sure.

What the hell would you do in my position? Does anyone have any advice? I feel so heartbroken and lost. I am so dedicated to him, I cook, clean, work really hard, im a great and loving mom. I’m awesome in bed. I know I deserve a man who loves and respects me. But I feel so conflicted because he hasn’t given me that for seven years, how could he now?

I am a child of multiple divorces and I know how hard it is on children. I waited so long to make sure I had a GOOD man who could be a GOOD father to my daughter. I believed that I could make anything work with him. But this is more than anyone could handle, right?

Thanks a bunch.