I’m having a hard time communicating my feelings with my husband.

I tend to feel really small and pathetic when trying to communicate how I feel or what I need. It makes it hard to get it out.

With each sentence I try to get out, the smaller I feel. I just want to melt into the floor.

This makes me feel super sad, and I forget what I was even trying to say. I’ll vigilantly read his face and body language at the same time to try and see if he actually cares or not. If I get the sense that he doesn’t, I’ll shut down. I’ll feel even more sad and pathetic for feeling what I feel.

I would rather stay quiet and suffer silently, then to go through the mental stress of trying to communicate my feelings and seeing how the person I’m talking to doesn’t care, (or me just thinking that they don’t) I don’t just do this with my husband, it’s other people too. So I tend to stay quiet. I can’t figure out why I feel so emotionally blocked.

I usually try to calm down before I talk so I’m not so clouded by emotion but I still feel like this on a lower level I just try to ignore it.