i've always been self conscious about my weight. growing up i was always referred to as "the fat one". looking back i was never fat. my legs have always been a little bigger than my sisters but i wasn't fat.

regardless, this obviously led to me struggling with my relationship with food and body dysmorphia. i've been working on coping with that but i still struggle with an ED.

yesterday, my MIL called my husband and he had her on speaker. She asked how i was doing and then asked my husband "how is she looking weight wise? Is she still as chubby as the last time i saw her?" mind you im trying to lose weight as i'm at 170 lbs and 5'7".

i feel like her comment set me back on my progress. i wanted to cry getting dressed this morning and i'm back to being nervous about having a meal as i don't want to get any bigger. im just disgusted with myself overall.