I don’t expect anyone to answer really. I just needed to vent and feel like i was doing something about it. Im in a really bad place mentally. Im scared to be alone with my thoughts. Any time im alone even if im driving/eating/About to sleep i start crying. I cant control my emotions. Im so fucking sad. I miss my mom who I lost in 2017 to cancer. I keep replaying her last months and her funeral. I feel like I cant make it. I miss her so much and idk how to be without her. My heart hurts and i can physically feel it breaking. Any happy moments are always followed up by “ she should be here”. My whole family split when she died. She was our glue. My dad always put the weight of my now 15 yr old sister and 18 yr old brother on me, because he starting drinking a lot when my mom died. A month after she died, he married and had a baby with a friend of my moms. I can never catch a break. I know my siblings are so unhappy and i try my best but I feel like no one cares about me and no one bothers to check on me. Im tired of busting my ass at work, just to go to school and barley seeing my kids somedays. Im tired of being the strong one. Im so tired of everything. I have a 4 yr old and 2 yr old and are the only reason im still here. Im scared of what would happen to my kids if Im not here. Their dad is a shitty dad. Im so deep in my depression