Hello ladies I’d really appreciate some advice here or maybe just some reassuring words.

I’m gonna apologise for the long post in advance. If you don’t want to read it all just skip down towards the end 😅

I’ll give you a bit of a backstory but I’m probably just writing this to get it off my chest.

So I’ve recently broken up with my now ex boyfriend.

I moved countries a year ago for work and got to know this initially really nice guy.

I never really wanted a relationship but I gave it a try anyways. I’m a very independent person, I love my freedom and will do anything for a person if they give me enough space.

With time he started to get more and more controlling like he wouldn’t let me talk to my family without having them on loud speaker and I’d have to talk English. I usually speak German with my sister but he absolutely lost it at me telling me it’s disrespectful towards him and so on. I had to move in with him which was horrible for me. I was around him 24/7 and he wouldn’t give me any time to myself whatsoever. He even came to work with me and quit his job because he ‘doesn’t trust the guy I work for’.

I couldn’t go see any friends on my own and even when my parents came to visit he had to join every thing we did or he was would go mad.

I had to cancel my cousins birthday party and so many other events because he wouldn’t let me go.

He is very immature and constantly told me that everybody else cheated on him so I have to be very considerate of his situation. I’m a very trusting person and I would never cheat on someone but in my opinion being cheated on in the past is no excuse to be controlling.

My health declined so much during our relationship and I just couldn’t take it anymore so I decided to take a break and go back home for 4 weeks. That’s when he really flipped. I told him he couldn’t come because I needed time for myself. He started constantly accusing me of lying, telling me what a terrible person I am for leaving him for 4 weeks and how I am just horrible for not letting him come. I had a few family situations going on at home to and it would have just beyond other things been inappropriate for him to be there.

He made me have my Location on 24/7 so he could track my every step. If I didn’t respond to his text or calls within 5 minutes I’d have, no lies, 20 missed calls and value 15 texts. It was Insane. Doesn’t matter what it was he didn’t believe me and constantly knew better about everything. Like I’d tell him I’m going for a run and he’d first of all accuse me of not going for a run but going drinking with boys. Or if not he’d tell me after 15 minutes I have to be back home because no one goes for a run longer than that. He’d tell me how long all of my activities would take and If I wasn’t done within that time he’d lose it.

I noticed I can’t do it anymore and his behaviour will get worse and I was actually afraid of my own safety if I’d go back to him. I couldn’t just pretend everything was fine so I called him and told him what’s going on and that I want to end the relationship. I feel bad for doing it via the phone but I didn’t see a different option at the time. He literally point blank ignored me and said that I’m just being dramatic and he won’t talk to me about that via the phone and I can’t forget about it because I’m going back to him and I will live with him. He flew over to my home and pretended everything was fine but I couldn’t even look at him anymore. I told him again that I’m ending the relationship and he started crying and screaming and actually stomping his foot like he’s 5. The man is 30.

He then told me I have to come back with him and he is not leaving until I agree to forgive him and come back with him. It got so bad I considered calling the police to get him removed.

It went from him being so sad and telling me I’m the best thing that ever happened to him to him telling me I’m horrible and how dare I treat him like that he doesn’t deserve it and I know he doesn’t and stuff like that. And he will kill himself if I don’t reconsider and then I have to tell his family why he’s dead.

In the end my PARENTS had to tell him to get the fuck out of our house and brought him to the airport.

Now he still texts me. He’s constantly on about me having to give him another chance and he’s working on himself and changing and he’s fixing everything for me. He even got a new car for me (I never wanted it and even told him not to) and I have to be thankful for that he paid so much money and he never treated me badly and so on.

The only reason I haven’t blocked him off everything is that I still have loads of stuff over there which he won’t give back unless I personally go and get it. I want my stuff but I don’t want to go back.

Also I feel guilty because of the way things went. Somewhere I feel sorry for him and I have a bit of a guilty conscience for sending him back home and treating him that way. His stupid psycho shit does get to me deep down.

And of course it wasn’t all bad. He was one of the kindest people and did everything for me. We had great fun together too and he made anything I wanted possible. I just feel like he has no concept of how love and relationships works. He definitely has severe mental health issues but so did I and I worked and still do everyday to heal and he just uses it as an excuse for his behaviour.

But every day I feel more and more like I just need to remove him from my life because he is draining my energy and making me sick.

Would you just block him without feeling guilty?