I need help on how to handle this situation. My husband’s parents never liked me. At all. No reason. They hate many people without reason, in fact they ended up alone, everybody in the extended family can barely stand them.

They are the typical people that express their love through staff. They bought big things for my husband on his birthday, branded cloths, huge tv, etc.

They have 2 grandchildren, one of which is our daughter. Their grandson is the apple of their eyes. Always covered him in presents, out-of-normal expensive presents (the most expensive legos, the most expensive telescope, the most expensive books collection, iPhone, iPad, etc) . Always tip-toed around him. He has his own bedroom in their house. On the other hand, anything that is for my daughter, it is a hassle for them; they say it! They didn’t get her any present on her birthdays, the only things she ever got from them are second hand things(they told me that). Now they are coming at our house for Christmas and for their grandson they got a special edition book and for my daughter some second hand cloths from a cousin. We even had several medical expenses, as our daughter has a disability, and they have never helped us in any way. Which is ok, but it does hurt when straight after they are ok on spending the money for a new iPhone for the other grandchild.

It’s a constant preference.

My daughter is dealing with a lot already and, unfortunately, she will always have to. I am on the edge of cutting them out of our lives. As long as it was me to be treated like a burden, I didn’t care, I could take it. But now it’s our daughter too. And it hurts me deeply, it causes so much rage. My husband gets upset but he is extremely afraid of regretting cutting them off, even though it would be beneficial to his mental health as well. He just worries that, if anything happens to them, he won’t be able to forgive himself.

I’m done with these people. I don’t want to stand here and accepted this behavior. I don’t want to be a complice in this. I want to talk to my husband but it’s not easy as he has this unconscious setting that put his parents as untouchable and monumental figures for his life. Can someone give me a constructive advice on how to go about this?

Please don’t suggest to divorce my husband if he doesn’t want to cut them off. That is an extreme decision that is much easier said than done and, tbh, it doesn’t help.

Thank you