I’m just absolutely gutted- please no nasty comments because I’m writing this for support.

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with baby number 2. I’ve been a single mum for 4 years and I’d say I’ve done pretty well considering I suffer with ADHD which can cause me a lot of overwhelm in chaos and let’s be honest having children is not only beautiful and the best thing ever but it’s also chaos especially when you’re doing it all on your own! So baby number 2- friends with benefits situation- was drunk and getting pregnant was the last thing on my mind at the time. Anyways two/three days ago I was in hospital with the flu as convinced myself I had pneumonia I know massive (hypochondriac) anyway bloods come back fine. I said with me coughing my ovaries have been aching so they must’ve checked my hormone levels and told me at the hospital I’m pregnant. Took a home pregnancy test and pregnant !! Anyway I rang my friends w benefits and usually he’s really nice, considerate, caring- well clearly I didn’t really know him. He’s told me he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby so take what I have with that information and decide for myself what to do. I don’t know what to do now I feel stuck because I don’t want to have an abortion but I also don’t want to do it all again on my own😔 it’s been a lonely road for me and all I’ve ever wanted os that perfect family. I don’t know.. I’m heartbroken.