since having my son i’ve changed. i love him and i love being a mom, i was seriously meant to be a mom! but it’s HARD to keep up with yourself and take care of yourself when you’re busting your butt taking care of the house and baby.. i’m literally only 90 pounds, i hardly shower because i don’t have time, i don’t do my hair or my makeup, i don’t change out of my pjs most days, half the time i forget to brush my teeth before the days halfway over. at this point i don’t even know if i don’t have time for these things or if i’m just so fucking depressed that i can’t. i’m so depressed because we’re struggling to make ends meet, my husband isn’t working right now “to help with the baby” and we’re relying on rental properties to pay our bills and its hardly doing that. i’m so blessed that he has the ability to stay home BUT he doesn’t even help me. i’ve changed more diapers in one day than he has our sons whole life. i do all the feedings, which was ok at first since i am breast feeding but now he’s eating real food too and i’m still feeding him myself and having to eat my dinners cold because i’m too focused on the baby. i do all the baths. all the laundry, the dishes, i take care of the dog(his before we got together). he doesn’t understand why i’m so unhappy all the time, and why i “pick so many fights” which is really just me trying to tell him how i feel. and then i just end up shutting down because he turns it around on me. i’m not happy when i look in the mirror it makes me feel sick how ugly and run down i look. none of my clothes fit so i’d rather just wear my baggy sweats all day. the problem is i can’t say any of this without him saying i’m just picking a fight. i do honestly get pretty worked up when i finally break down and tell him we need to talk but i’ve held it in for so long i don’t know how else to say it without it being a full blown melt down. i guess i’m just asking how i say this to him without sounding like i’m picking a fight but also how can i change it?!! i don’t wanna be unhappy i don’t wanna look a hot mess all the time i don’t wanna weigh 90 damn pounds. i miss who i was before i met my husband.