Just got into work and had a chance to read over the post I made while crying last night and it’s rough. Gonna post again to try and make it a little easier to understand. Comment on this one, comment on the other one idc but plz someone comment so I know if I’m crazy or not. Back story I got together with a guy who I will switch between calling him husband and boyfriend it’s a language thing and I try not to do it in post but if you read husband and boyfriend it’s the same person. We literally had a kid the same year we met/got together, he had 5 kids from his first marriage. I moved in right away per him asking and me being homeless. At the time he lived in a 2 bedroom apartment his son had one so when I had my son he slept in our room. All is fine, we move to another 2 bed and my step son moves with us, my son coslept so wasn’t a big deal. My step son ends up going back to his mom she lives 5 minutes away, he has a lot of behavioral problems and their mom works from home so she can be a little more attentive. I was young, a brand new mom myself and I was home a majority of the time with my step son and his outburst my boyfriend worked 60+ hours so I could stay home with my son. Since we now had an extra bedroom my boyfriend moved all my sons toys into that room so they were not in our tiny living room. My step daughter which there is four of them so I’m gonna call her 12 since thats how old she is now. So 12 no longer had a room at her moms house with her brother moving back in. Their mom doesn’t have a big enough house for all of them. Actually that’s a whole different story which is literally my boyfriends fault on how their rooms got messed up at their moms house but back to this story. So my boyfriend discusses 12 moving in with us. Me and 12 were really close at the time hanging out ect. I was very hesitant though for how badly things went with stepson though. My boyfriend and I discussed moving again to a 3 bedroom that way my son can have his own space as well and I was like awesome. 12 wanted to move into the two bedroom with us and I said “that’s fine, tell me if you wanna go to the store and get pink sheets or anything to hang on the walls BUT I’m not moving all the toys out of the room if we are moving in a couple months you and son will have to share the room until we move.” That started a whole fight because according to my step kids I told her no she couldn’t have the room. So we move, I get to decorate my sons room which meant a lot to me since I didn’t get to do a nursery or anything. I bought all the furniture for 12s room. And over night there was a 180 degree switch in 12. Just disrespectful, talking back, slamming doors in my face, sneaking out, lying, sneaking alcohol, sending inappropriate pics/videos to boy, getting in fights at school getting suspended. Like I said we were close before all of this also she was literally 11 when most of this was happening. I was working more at this point and barely home but home more than my boyfriend. My boyfriend again sent her back to her moms cuz mom is home all day and can provide more structure. So now we have an empty room. Which our rent went up almost 400 dollars to move to a 3 bedroom which for people living paycheck to paycheck that’s a lot of money. I mean we needed rooms for ours kids not trying to get hung up on the money part just trying to show this wasn’t an easy move and we made sacrifices as parents do for their kids. So 12 and younger step daughter who will be 8 for this stories sake. Just trying leave out names. Spend every other weekend at our house, 12 not as consistently, but 8 yes. There is no real custody agreement, with ex wife living 5 minutes away and grandma living 2 minutes away kids come and go as they please. So my son whose 4, still co sleeps, really me not pushing for him to move out of my bed, I like co sleeping with him. We could start working on sleeping in his own bed he would probably hate it at first but I think it’s doable I don’t push for it. He’s also a very clinging child so he doesn’t spend a whole lot of time in his room because that extra 2 feet from me is too much for him. I will say probably in the last 6 months he has been using his room more and more. So if step kids want use his room I’m like 90% ok with it. I personally hate people being in my room and in my space and sharing blankets and clothes and I do my best to not project that onto my son. So no iv never kicked my step kids out of my sons room I understand as an adult he really doesn’t use his room. So story time I guess sorry thanks to all who read this far So 2 nights ago 8 and 12 are over and when we all go to bed 12 goes in my sons room. So I ask my boyfriend what’s up and he’s like “she wants to sleep there.” What ever like I said my son isn’t sleeping there so not a hill to die on. She does have a room of her own still fully furnished. Now yesterday I picked my step kids up early from their moms, usually they wait for their dad but he’s doesn’t get out to late and I bought doughnuts and arts and crafts so I picked them up early. Right as we walk in 12 goes to my sons room and throw her stuff everyone and gets comfy and closes the door. My son asked to do the arts and crafts in his room. I’m not about to tell my son no he can’t do something in his room, especially when I’ve spent the last 2 years trying to get him to use his room. So now in this 3 bedroom house all four of us are in my sons room, me and the younger kids doing arts and crafts and 12 getting annoyed that she can’t have a private phone conversation. I really don’t feel bad if she wants privacy she has her own room, right?! I mean that’s literally why we went through all this trouble of getting her a room. I don’t say anything to her. If I say something she’ll spin it and cry to her dad on awful I am. Which she’s here and causing problems so her dad and I will fight anyway. I swear some days you would think she does this on purpose. I text my boyfriend what’s going on he gives me the whole don’t text him while he’s at work spiel and he’ll talk to her later. Which he doesn’t talk to her when he gets home because he’s incapable of punishing his kids. He’s the fun parent in the divorce l. So my boyfriend and I are eating dinner and I hear yelling so I get up to check on the kids and 12 is telling my son and 8 to get out of MY sons room because they are being loud. I’m like absolutely not so I call my boyfriend over and he tells my son to get out of again MY sons room and again I’m like absolutely not. So my boyfriend and I have a huge fight and my boyfriend who preaches the whole don’t say things when your angry goes off on selfish I am and how I don’t make his kids feel welcome in their own house. Me not gonna say angry hurtful things tells my son I’m going to bed and goes in my room and closes the door so now boyfriend and I are fighting because he’s trying to apologize for saying mean hurtful things and I’m only saying “ok” because I’m still trying to keep my mean hurtful things in. I have a short temper I know I do and I’m trying to walk away here. Which my son still ends up getting kicked out of his room. I tell my son that’s not ok that, that’s his space and he also doesn’t need to be taking orders from an older sibling. So now my boyfriend arguing with me cuz I’m dragging the kids into it. And I’m still not accepting his apology. So I went to bed crying and mad last night and I’m still livid. I really just need strangers on the internet to tell me if I was right or wrong or down the middle. I do genuinely reflect when y’all say I’m wrong. And you guys have given me great tips on how to approach topics on my partner. So I know I come on here to complain a lot of thank you all that read this far and thank you in advance for anyone that comments.