I feel like I just can’t get over it...

Maybe I’m not giving myself enough time or maybe I should be over it and able to let it go by now. It’s just the constant reminders almost every single day. We miscarried November 21, 2022. My heart just fucking aches sometimes and I feel like such a burden with these feelings and thoughts 😭 I want to talk about it but I just feel so dumb? Idk how to explain it and I don’t think that’s the right word. Like I should be over it by now because everybody else seems to be and nobody even thinks twice about it.

But they’re all so focused on my SIL who’s still having a healthy pregnancy. We used to talk every single day and now she barely talks to me or replies to me. That’s the same for a lot of people recently - everyone wanted to talk to me when I was pregnant even if it was just to tell me to have a good day and now nothing.

My little friend group has so much going on in their personal lives that mine feel very minuscule in comparison but so big to me.. My mom is like a wall and makes it so hard TO talk to her or to even want to. My fiancé has been so stressed with his business due to crappy employees and the last thing I want to do is pile on MY feelings as I know he doesn’t need that right now and barely has space for it at the moment. He’s been so patient and loving through it all but I just feel so burdened by my own heart and mind 🥺 We’re still ttc and I know it’s only been 2 months of trying again but it took so long the first time... How foolish I was as a child and teen to think it all happens so easily - to be that young and naive again lol.

Please before you comment therapy just know I know. I had a therapist last year and it didn’t work out due to scheduling conflicts - they are overloaded in my state and can only schedule every 4-6 weeks and sometimes longer. I’ve been on the waitlist for a year for a psychiatrist as well as my GI referred me after discussing my scheduling issues with therapists. I’m trying.