I’m finding it so difficult to fathom what has just occurred in the past three days. Four days ago I was still blissfully unaware of anything bad happening.

We went in for our first scan (first pregnancy) and got the horrible news. We were also surprised because we didn’t know of any family members with twins or that were twins. Anyway, the doctor said one baby had died weeks prior and the other was the right size but had no heartbeat.

The rest of what happened was a combination of shock and just pure blur. I had to take misoprostol to help my miscarriage along and cause an abortion.

My husband and I are devastated. I can’t even imagine wanting to get pregnant again. I’m so terrified and I feel like it wouldn’t work anyway.

I don’t know why I’m writing this. I guess I’m looking for some comfort, understanding and reassurance. I know I shouldn’t assume but god it really does look like and sound like everyone around me had perfect pregnancies and now healthy babies.