Husband cheated!

We've been together for almost 6 years. Turns out he's been cheating the WHOLE TIME. Different women. I've had gut feelings in the past, but he always assured me nothing happened. Then he'd jokingly confess as part of the foreplay. Now I have evidence about multiple women. I am so ashamed of myself. I have let myself go, gained a lot of weight and as a result I am disguisting. Why did I gain weight you ask? Covid, him neglecting me, never ever going down on me. Turns out, he likes to go down on other women. I feel sick!!!

I don't know what to do. Financially I am dependent on him, but we live in my house. He pays my mortgage and most of our bills. I have lost my energy during this marriage, I have lost everything. I am on a weightloss journey, and it's going to take me 1-2 years to even look half decent. I am so sick and ashamed of myself. The whole dieting and exercising is draining. I am 28 years old. I feel like I have wasted my life. The weightloss is something I want. I used to be super hot and sexy and now I'm obese. I feel like a part of me deserves what happened, but my heart breaks everytime I see my options. On one hand we have built a life together and I have 0 energy/want to pursue another relationship, on the other I don't fucking deserve this. What am I supposed to do?!

How do I get myself together?

I have no friends, no one to talk to.