If your partner either doesn't help, is shady, abusive, why are you trying to get pregnant?

Question

This week there was an overwhelming amount of posts of women complaining about either how their man child doesn't help with chores, only smokes and plays video games, doesn't contribute because he's a bum, he's shady messaging other women or paying for Only Fans content, yet when you go into their profile they're asking if their test is positive or if they might be pregnant after trying for so long.
This is a serious question if you're one of these women. Why? Why are you trying for a baby if your partner is your main source of unhappiness?

Answer

I went through this, so I can speak from experience. 
Sometimes, obviously not all cases, the women are either in denial, the man will fill their head with these big (FAKE) visions of them being a “big happy family” and promise to change, or they don’t love/value themselves enough to think they will find better, so they settle. 
I went through a mixture of all 3. So while it is frustrating, please be gentle. Because you don’t know what is going on behind the scenes

Answer

You never know what’s going on with someone.. or their relationship. A lot of people give their partner too many chances, hoping they will change.. some people make posts out of anger in the moment but it’s not how they feel all the time, some don’t love themselves enough to know they deserve better, etc. there’s a lot of things that can factor into the “why”. We all have different paths & it’s easy to judge from the outside because you’re not in it living through it. 
I personally tried for a while with an abusive guy who I loved dearly, and I am so glad we never had kids.. but at the time I was very blind. Looking back I see things very clearly, but the point is it’s easy to be in denial or not see you deserve better & hold on to the hope & vision you have for a family. There’s no point in judging these women. They deserve better clearly & hopefully they will learn that one day. But you are merely an outsider looking in. It’s easy to have an opinion when it’s not you. Be kind.

Answer

I get where you’re coming from but the people this applies to..it will do nothing at all to them.  It won’t flip a switch or anything they will still continue until they learn. I agree w the other comments aswell.

Answer

Well this is how it happened for me:
I was 21, he was 35. He was convincing me that everything that I was uncomfortable about was very normal. He had really good arguments and arguments I could absolutely find myself in. (things like "If you're in a relationship, you help eachother out financially. Like if one adult would decide to be a SAHP then it would be normal for them to have a shared budget, because 1 household, one budget" this makes sense right? However this ended up in my paycheck funding luxuries for him and his kids when I was making all sacrifices. Also he forgot to mention that he had loads of loans with his ex and that at one point he gambled all his ex's savings away.. which lead to him being able to gamble my savings away. At this point I was manipulated into loads of things, like me buying him a new car - I don't drive - so that the kids would be safe on the road etc...) I never really realized how big the difference was between us. The lack of respect in my direction. How unequal we were, until after we had our child. We - including our baby/toddler - were eating cheap garbage, sometimes not eating at all. To provide everything for the 3 kids he had with his ex, including more luxurious food, expensive shoes, expensive hobbies etc...
That I didn't have 100% thesame "say" in things because he had 3 kids and I was there for his kids but I didn't have thesame authority, made somewhat sense. But it stopped making sense when I wasn't his equal when it came down to our child. If you understand what I'm saying. So when I started talking to my friends about it they were absolutely flabbergasted to what was actually happening.
I was abused as a kid and grew up with a parent who would constantly put me down. I was beaten almost on daily basis as a teen. I didn't have much of a clue on what a healthy relationship looked like.

Answer

I have had these same thoughts and wondered the same so so many times on here. I'd like to know as well.

If your partner either doesn't help, is shady, abusive, why are you trying to get pregnant?

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