Losing a baby feels so lonely. I went from a baby that was so so wanted and loved being right inside me as close as possible to not being there anymore. And not many people know, and those who do seem to have just vanished from my life, maybe they just don't know what to say or maybe they just don't care, either way it hurts. I feel like I can't tell many people because it's such a difficult topic. I am thankful to have the support of my husband but its hard being just the two of us and I dont think he necessarily feels the pain on the same level as me or greaves in the same ways.

My story:

I suffered an ectopic pregnancy. Still going through the blood draws waiting for the hcg to fall to nonpregnant levels. I had an emergency laparoscopy. They found a ruptured cyst, internal blleding, and endometriosis, but they couldn't find the pregnancy so I also had to take methotrexate shots, 4 in total because the first 2 didn't work. We wanted a baby for years and actively ttc for 16 months.

I loved the baby so much from the second I saw those two lines. I then spent weeks in worry while they tracked my numbers not knowing if it would be viable or not. Then told its not and I need emergency surgery right away with no warning. Then the shots and the tracking as mentioned. Its dragging out so agonizingly. I just wish I could have my baby back and that I could save them and keep them safe and watch them grow and live a happy life. I wish the world got to know my baby.