I constantly wonder what my life would’ve been like if I never was raped. I did nothing except care for my family and in return I was abused so much that I could hardly talk or function. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be raped by anyone. I want my husband. He is the only thing I want. He is the only person I see my future being. With a husband I will be safe and know that I will be with someone that would understand me.

I need him. So desperately right now that it is crazy. When I was being raped the only thing I thought about was him and how he could come and save me. But no one ever did. Till this very day no body has saved me. It’s been years and I’ve been alone for so long with this rape and he is nowhere to be found.

Suffering rape by myself has been so hard. My rape wasn’t normal. My rape was in front of other people. And no one saved me. I was naked and alone and screaming yet nobody was there for me. Everyone just stood there and laughed. I am a joke now. And he has won.

I only thought and think about my husband not the man who tortured me for so many years.