Ever fell out of love?

I’ve been with my husband going onto 7 years and going onto 4 years married… it’s so hard for me to do anything with him. We’ve had a lot of issues in the past with his drinking. He would get drunk and tell me disgusting and hurtful things. He even went as far as to tell me he blamed me for miscarrying our daughter at 24 weeks for an incompetent cervix…. He used to be so caring and sweet and was a total different person when we started, which is why I married him and after that a switch flipped. We married a year after we miscarried and I feel it was done because of our loss and now he attacks me every chance he gets…

He hasn’t been drinking much but now I feel like I can’t look at him the same way. I don’t want to be near him, when I’m alone or with my family I feel so happy and alive but when he’s around I get so depressed. I don’t even want to be sexual with him. This is all things I’ve told him, I’ve told him I wasn’t happy, that I was miserable and didn’t want to be with him and he chooses to not care or listen.

I know I’m not the only one because his 12 year old daughter says she chooses not to visit us anymore because of her dad… when she told us that her mom/his ex mentioned he would be so abusive verbally and mentally that she felt suicidal… so she had to leave. That’s two other people he’s made feel like shit other than me and I just feel stuck…. Like I don’t know what to do. I know there’s going to be comments to communicate and try to reignite our relationship but I can’t. I don’t feel comfortable around him and I feel disgusting being sexual with him… like he’s a total stranger…. I don’t have very many friends to talk to because of him.