Long post ahead 🙈

So things started a little before my now husband and I got married. I found he was chatting other girls on social networks, and particularly this one gal who is known to be “open to anyone who asks” iykwim… We talked a lot and I kinda understood why he did what he did. Let’s say I wasn’t completely honest with him in the beginning of our relationship (I was talking with my ex at the time and it was 3yrs ago but anyway) and he probably just wanted to get back at me (which he didn’t admit but " I don’t know what I was thinking” wasn’t a good enough of an answer). I was really hurt and although I believe nothing happened back then (more than 6 months ago) I’m still reminded from time to time by seeing those girls on my IG suggestions or just some random reels I see about cheating and it kinda still hurts.

I try really hard not to go through his phone because he really seems to be more invested in us now after the wedding and since I found out I was pregnant. He tries and shows me every day that he loves me and appreciates my presence in his life. However here’s the thing. We were REALLY active in the bedroom before the wedding, but now and especially after the baby he doesn’t seem so interested in me anymore. Anytime I bring it up he says he’s afraid of hurting the baby and although I’m 5months in and we’ve had sex (quite regularly in fact except for the last few weeks), it’s still the same excuse over and over.

I’m so scared he just doesn’t see me that way anymore and that now I’m just this mom persona that he’s not attracted to anymore. He says it’s not that but I just can’t shake this feeling I have that he has another girl on the side to satisfy him. Any time I try talking about this he gets kinda annoyed and says all I think about is sex and he has other problems on his mind. I have no idea what to do anymore.