MIL drama

Let me start by saying, I overall have a good relationship with my mother in law. She’s been in my life since I was 13 and she’s more like a mother to me than a MIL. but like a stereotypical mother in law, she loves to overstep.

So I have a 3 year old who has been sick with all types of colds since the beginning of the year. She’s asthmatic so that complicates things. Long story short, we ran out of albuterol due to the shortage and she had to go to the ER for a breathing treatment at 1am. I work every other day so my husband and I agreed that I would take her so he can sleep since he had work in the morning. I could sleep/rest most of the next day since I was off.

Well, this didn’t sit well with my MIL who told me I’m letting my husband (her son) walk all over me, I need to stand up for myself, and that he’s leaving me to be a “single parent” while he takes care of himself and only himself and it’s not fair to me yada yada yada. I literally don’t know what to say. I appreciate her consideration, but my husband and I discussed this. I told her we agreed to it and if anything it was my idea. My husband was up to going with us, but I didn’t think it was super necessary as we knew what the ER was going to say/do. If anything changed we’re a 15 minute drive to the hospital.

Last night I get a text from my SIL saying wants to take me out for a girls night because I need to make sure I get a break and that I’ve been doing so much that I should leave my daughter with my husband and let him take some responsibility. Like WTF. my husband and I have a routine that works for us. Do I do the vast majority of the parenting, yes. But he does the vast majority of the household chores, cooking, cleaning, paying bills etc. I am ok with our balance.

I haven’t told my SIL about any of this so I know it’s coming from my MIL. And I know this is likely a lot of projection from her because her husband is abusive asshole and a total deadbeat and did nothing for their 4 kids when they were growing up. Im at a loss. My husband is nothing like his dad. I told him about this and apparently his mom was telling him he needs to step up and be a better husband and stop acting like his dad and I’m just floored. I don’t want this to ruin our relationship, but damn.

Edit: we see my MIL almost everyday. If we don’t see her, one of us is talking to her. we live like 2 streets over from my in laws. My husband is also a mamas boy and he talks to her everyday. My MIL’s sister runs a daycare which our child goes to, and my MIL is very close to her sister. so I’m sure she also tells her things. I’ve never directly told her the inner workings of our relationship, I think she’s created this picture based on what she hears/sees. It’s kinda like a big game of telephone.