Am I wrong ? Overthinking ? Or just petty ?

I don't know if I should allow the father of my child in the delivery room, let alone in the hospital with us to eventually sign the birth certificate altogether😣 I just seriously don't want to coparent with him. I'd rather do it by myself.

I don't want to be selfish but I don't believe that a parent that is purposely a half ass parent in the child's life because they don't want to be a "full-time" parent due to the fact that they want to continue to live their life , is a better alternative to a single parent doing it all alone. Exposing a child to temporary situations continuously can be traumatizing. I've lived it in my life and he's lived it in his life growing up as well. My dad came in and out when he chose to, and his home dynamic was frequently changed as well. And I see I'm doing it to his young child now. He always anybody to " bond" with his child and then when he's ready... he'll remove that person just to bring in another KNOWING TEMPORARY. Not caring if the child has bonded or not. I just believe it's a very toxic situation. I DON'T WANT MY CHILD TREATED LIKE THAT!

My child's father is a opportunist, he's manipulative. He's very calculated and VERY selfish as fuc.

I cut things off with him in my 30th week of pregnancy because of extreme toxicity. Depression. He kept reiterating how unattractive he was to pregnant women🥴 he continued to cheat, and lie. Throughout my entire pregnancy up until that point his has never done "the cute dad thing" like talking to my belly or even touch my belly more than twice. The last time I physically seen him was December 26th. There after I'd updated him as he would requested every 7 to 13 days on how the baby was progressing. Nothing more, nothing less.

This man makes close to $100,000 a year and has yet to buy our child anything or even offer if I needed help. Everything that I would need for baby to start with I've gotten on my own, with the help of my 17 year old son😢(I never made him feel as though it was he was responsibility to buy anything, that's just how he is as my child, bless his ❤️) I'm not working at the moment because it's physically draining. If it wasn't for my savings and my son I would be fucked for real.

I have no family or friends to support which is cool but it's hard at times I can't lie. My child's father knows that.

Anyway after months he finally asked me if he could go to a drs appointment in February. @ 37 weeks pregnant now, high risk. I go twice weekly. And NOW he wants to come to the appointments???🤔 like I said he's an opportunist and he's manipulative. If it's not going to benefit him, he will not do it!!!

So while at the appointment... all of a sudden he wants to rub my belly, talk to my belly, even while walking out into the hallways. All I could think to myself, was, where was this energy before???👀👀 it was very unsettling, because all I could think of was why is he doing this but then I had to understand the person....

I believe that in my final stage of pregnancy, he's trying to come in and " save the day" just so he could say he was " there". (For legal purposes and his on bragging rights.) he doesn't like when people possibly perceive him as a bad dad, so he brags about everything that he does for his children as if he deserves an award.

After hearing The Doctors ( plural ) say " any day now" after knowing that I already my " show" and that I typically deliver FAST... he tells me don't go into labor Friday or Saturday Bc I have to "work" ( which I know 100% that he doesn't). 1st appearance in MONTHS to an appointment and has the nerve to ask me if I'll allow my doctors to fill out his FMLA so he can get time off from work for weeks to" bond" with the baby. 👀👀

I feel like again it's an opportunity for him to say that he's going to do something, but not actually do it just to be able to have the bragging rights of actually doing it. I refrain from expressing how I feel to him because he's VERY spiteful individual as well. 😫 I sure can pic em 🤦‍♀️

Ugh

I just dislike this guy soooooo much. And it's crazy how you have to take a step back from the situation to actually see what it is... I NEVER WANTED to coparent with him. And after making the decision to keep the baby what made me depressed was the fact that I knew I had to do it with this selfish person. I regretted telling him since day one. I've felt guilty as a mom for the simple fact that I know how he is isn't going to change. He really believes how he is as a parent let alone a man is okay. Therefore, I'm subject my child to certain behaviors. How stupid am I 🤦‍♀️ I've felt so guilty and so depressed I've even look into adoption for my child. 

This is my last pregnancy... I'll never do this again and it sucks this has been the worst experience I've ever had to deal being pregnant.