did i wish my baby away???

i recently had a miscarriage 2/21 at 10 weeks, it wasnt a planned pregnancy and i was very afraid, i kept saying i wanted it to go away and i wanted an abortion. i feel terriable now i realize that i would give anything to have my baby back, not only do i have the greif of loseing a child but the guilt of feeling i caused it. Anyone conceived after a miscarriage? &how long does it take?