Boyfriend advice? Really need some help!

Question

Hi so I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now and I love him to bits, he's the only guy that I've ever had strong feelings for and can't imagine my life without him. He truely means the world to me but he has really bad paranoia :( I've tried stopping seeing friends but he gets upset and thinks it makes him controlling. In turn he won't see his friends which makes me feel possessive whereas I want him to see his friends and have a social life. 
​Yesterday he finally went out so I went to see my cousin and my phone died so I could talk for about an hour and a half. When I finally charged it and text him, he was really worried and slightly angry as he thought I was cheating on him. It's been really bad, I even have to send him pictures as proof I'm not out cheating when he has to go out.  I partly wonder if his paranoia stems from guilt? It makes me anxious and scared as he really seems like my true love, so he has the ability to break me, if he was to be unfaithful I don't know if I'd be able to cope.
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​Second thing is that we have had a few pregnancy scares and I miscarried our baby a few months ago. It crushed me and clearly upset him, now he refuses to show much emotion and on our last scare he was going to leave me if I was. I think he's scared of loosing another baby, we have spoke but the doctor was able to tell us the baby I miscarried was a boy. Since he found out he hates the idea of having a little boy and is insistant that if we conceive again, it would have to be a girl. I understand the emotional trauma  he's going through but it feels almost like he thinks he was the only person that lost him. It hurts me to think if we tried for a baby in future and it was a boy that he would leave me to either raise the baby alone and have a child grow up without a dad. 
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​Can anyone just give me some advice as to how I should go around these problems? I really want to make it work between us.

Answer

Your BF sounds controlling and irrational which is worrying. These are not characteristics that are likely to change. If this is worrying you now, you will always worry about these same things. Is this really the right type of relationship that you want for yourself or bring a child into?

Answer

I can speak from experience that this most likely will not change. My husband is very possessive but he never really meant it that way. I have stood up for myself and he has loosened some but not completely. We both go to pieces if were apart not because we don't trust each other but we don't like to be apart much. You and only you can change this. If it's important to you stand up for what you want he might not change and may even leave but don't give up who you are for anyone. If he gives in some and your happy though by all means stay together. Just make sure your not loving the man you wish he was or missing the man you wish had left.

Answer

This boyfriend sounds unstable and scary. I would be afraid to make a lasting commitment to him with a child.

Answer

The base of any relation is trust. From what i read he doesn t trust you and you trust him but you also sound not really sure because of his actions. 
​I think it is weird what he says about having boys and wanting a girl.. Like u can pick what u get?? I don t know but i think u should really sort everthing out first before u bring a kid in this world. I think every kid wants to grow up in a happy home with both parents. He might be the love of your life i don t know of course so hopefully you can talk about it and make some positive changes.

Boyfriend advice? Really need some help!

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