Something missing?

I had my daughter at 19. I was in a terrible relationship and lived with my parents. I don't feel like a "real" mom. I know it's terrible and I definitely don't mean to devalue anyone in a similar circumstance, but I feel like my five year old and I get along like sisters. I love my daughter to death but I don't feel like I got a real experience in motherhood/having a baby/toddler as an "adult". I am now married with two other step kids. I so badly want a baby with my husband bc I feel jyped on my first. I didn't get to experience a loving pregnancy with any support or any real family unit feelings. Is this so terrible? Please someone understand!