Body mind tricks

Darci • TTC 2 1/2 years...
AHHHH! This has been the worst month yet in our 31 months of ttc, I swear my body is playing tricks with my emotions, almost feel like I'm going crazy. Got the bfn today, when I had waited until 13 dpo to test. Had slight slight cramping at 5dpo, had really tender b at 12 dpo, thought for sure finally prayers had been answered only to be completely disappointed yet again. At two and a half years of ttc it's been this emotional cycle before, but never had I experienced the absolute devastation where I feel my body is betraying me. Never had I experienced symptoms like this and felt this hopeful and excited. I almost question myself wondering if I'm imagining these symptoms. I'm really a very logical person, emotionally balanced, but this month I have entered crazy town and needed to get it out. 
​I get so jealous, angry, confused, and depressed feeling like I see prego or baby pics everywhere. If it's not pics it's my coworkers, cousins, high school friends, and clients in person; it's everywhere I look, except in the mirror. 
​I know I need to be more positive and proactive, and tomorrow will be better, but really needed to get it out and share today- hoping the positivity of this group will wear off on me. 
​Thanks for listening.