Anxiety.., please help. Long post but please read

So postpardum for baby #1 triggered major anxiety for me. It's almost 18 months and I'm now pregnant for baby #2. A lot had happened to me (many thanks to stupid doctors) that had caused me to gain 50 lbs. I'm so scared of my first prenatal appt on Wednesday because if this. I know I'm going to get lectured about how fat I am but seriously if they knew what a living hell my life has been lately.... It's enough to make anyone get fat without the aid of medicine. Any who, I don't wanna go to this . My anxiety is making me say I do t give 2 flying ducks! I hate doctors. I just do. The idea of being in the same room as one if these lecturing money suckers is enough to drive me mad. All the anxiety tho is making me stress eat. Which makes me gain weight, which then makes me anxious which makes me stress eat and ... You get the picture. Can anyone help me ? I guess I don't really know what I'm asking for really... Advice maybe? Reassurance... I guess anything at this point,,