I was sexually assaulted by a boyfriend when I was in high school. It happened for about 4 months and he never used protection. I was always scared that I was going to get pregnant or that someone would be able to tell that I wasn't a virgin anymore. I was always so scared of going to the doctor because I thought they would know I had sex. It doesn't make sense and it was really paranoid. My parents were just so strict and harsh that I never thought I could tell them what was going on; they still don't know.  Even though I have worked on my issues, I am still anxious about doctor's offices to this day. 

I need help, I don't know what to do or why I do this. Has anyone else experienced this? Or am I just anomaly?

I never went to therpy bc I'm way to shy to tell a complete stranger my darkest secret. I still hold on to the sexual assault and rape till this day. It hurts so bad bc I went in to depression hard. Didn't do anything. I carry 2 pocket knives with me now. Only way I was actually able to talk about it was with my current boyfriend bc he actually cares about me to listen.

This reaction is totally normal. I had probably started and stopped therapy  10 times before I kept up with it. Anxiety is a really common problem after an assult.