Staying positive. Feeling different.

 I just feel different this month. I can't explain it but we bd the 2 days before my positive opk and then again that night  and the day after. But the day I got my positive opk i just started to feel super positive about this month. Like something was different. 
This will be our fourth cycle ttc. The month we first decided to try my little brother was diagnosed with esophagal cancer. Needless to say this out a ton of stress and sadness  on me. Sadly he passed away about a month ago. We just had his memorial last Saturday (which happened to be the start of my fertile days). As I sat in the church and cried for my brother and prayed God would keep him safe and happy, I started to feel so much better. Like the weight had finally lifted after 3 months of hurt and worry. After the memorial I feel so much more relaxed and happy because I know he is no longer in pain. And I really think I just feel different about this month. Now that the stress and pain is fading hopefully my body can do what it should! Feeling like I could actually get my bfp this month!